HowMyBootyEndUpInTheAir?: IV Play

Many people don’t know that I’m a huge fan of The Dream on the low. Recently, his latest album, IV Play, was released. It’s cute but not his best body of work. That’s besides the point. Although the single, IV Play, isn’t a huge hit or anything like that (thank gawd) I feel like I need to address the statement he is trying to make in this song because it sounds really cute to the naked ear, but you can’t put too much past me lyrically.

If you’ve followed my blog for a while then you know I’m all about the prerequisite which is a part of foreplay. If not, you can read about it here.

The Dream aka Terius Nash is trying to be cute in the way he sings about cutting out foreplay with his woman, but nigga you are not slick!!! For those who aren’t sure what foreplay is its all the things that come before actually having sexual intercourse ranging from caressing, kissing, nibbling, sucking, licking, and of course the prerequisite. Dictionary.com defines foreplay as sexual stimulation of one’s partner, usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse.

The key word in that definition is stimulation. If we’re skipping foreplay how am I suppose to be stimulated and ready to give you the good good?! Is the mere sight of you suppose to make me wet?! Well, okay… never mind that last statement, but you get what I’m trying to say. I would like a little more incentive to stay nice and wet; it makes the moments of pleasure that much more explosive.

I know every time you’re about to have sex there isn’t going to be foreplay involved,  but The Dream’s justification for skipping foreplay is ridiculous.

I can give a fuck about the foreplay, I want it now, I’m talkin’ straight sex, stop fuckin’ around

Impatience on your part is not reason enough to just skip foreplay! Then at the end of the song he’s talking about going all night.

Tell me you gon’ set it off all night

Sir, you want me to sex you all night with no foreplay?! It’s not impossible, but it comes off a little selfish. Straight sex is like for a quickie not tryna pull an all nighter or a ’round for ’round session. Granted foreplay-esq moves can be incorporated during actual intercourse which saves this song from being a complete blunder. You tried it, Terius!

Adding insult to injury he also says:

Early morning, I’m so horny,, I just had it, still I want it, ride up on it whenever you come around

Don’t get me wrong I got that snapback and all but can I get a break?! Can that break be foreplay, please? Wanting stunts and shows:

Now work that shit, do that shit, make a nigga crazy

Which isn’t necessarily a problem because I want to give my best efforts at all times, but if were gonna skip foreplay and keep stunts and shows then I’m definitely gonna need a “throw it in the bag” excursion to make up for it. I’m gonna need to my trips to Monaco and all that shit. After all that work I’ve earned it to the second root! (Yeah, I’m good at algebra too lol)

I already let The Dream slide about sweating out my hair then he comes up with this shit?! Tried It!!

The fact that he really tries to make the song sound somewhat romantic has me giving him the ultimate side eye.

I don’t want to waste your time

Sorry to say it but without the prerequisite being taken care of you’re wasting my time. Or maybe I’ve been spoiled in the past? #shrugs

Overall, The Dream is sending the wrong message to inexperienced young men out there. It’s bad enough these rappers are just talking about fucking bitches, and now he’s tryna cut out foreplay. Whoa, whoa, whoa someone has to call these men out before they run amuck.  The only way this song is okay is if he’s talking about messing with a hoe which in that case I have no jurisdiction on the terms and conditions of their sexual encounter because I’ve never been about that life (honestly).

I’m talking a lot of shit on this post, but when things are still new between your new man (in my case) or new boo (in your case) you just gotta have it all. the. damn. time. anyway you can, and I get it! The adrenaline, emotions, thoughts, hormones are racing and you just want that person on a platter, but that doesn’t give The Dream the right to make an entire song about skipping foreplay. Get your life! Keep that shit to yourself. I want it all!

Points to take away from all of this is:
– Men, at least fulfill the prerequisite (and do it well).
– If you’re a regular dude you don’t get to skip foreplay unless that’s your main bish and y’all been at it for a minute.
– If you can afford to splurge on your woman feel free to skip foreplay in exchange for shopping sprees, trips, and access to your credit cards.
– Real men always make sure their woman’s needs are taken care of first!
– Neither party in the sexual experience should be lazy.

Feel free to leave your commentary below.
*Turns on some R. Kelly* tootles luvies
-TheJournalist25 xoxo

HowMyBootyEndUpInTheAir?!: Body Party

I’m always thinking about what I’m gonna write about next for this site. Maybe even overthinking it (there goes that over-analyzing Virgo trait), but thus why its been taking a while for new post. I’m trying not to bore you with only talk about New York so I figured I better get this one out before the passion goes away. A few people have been asking me for a new #howmybootyendupintheair? and this is the closest thing they’re gonna get for now… but you never know what the future has in store.

BODY-PARTY

Where do I start? You know when you hear or see something that just makes you feel like you can be your best possible self, if not better? That’s exactly how I felt when I saw Ciara’s “Body Party” video. I know you probably weren’t expecting that from me, but hey I am Miss HowMyBootyEndUpInTheAir?!!

This experience (the video and song) has brought so many emotions out of me in those 4:52. I for one just can’t stop rockin’ my hips, slow winding, and looking back at it while this song plays.

First, it took me all the way back to my party days in college. In my heyday I’ve been to some pretty incredible parties, some of which I was the life of. Although, I mostly went to the club, house parties were always the best (except when they got shut down early). Life was like a movie; liquor was flowing, slow songs were mixed in with the dance tracks, and life had no worries. Nonetheless, a good party night always meant my girls and I were lined up on the wall dancing with some guys which is dully noted in this video.

Then, after reminiscing I began to think “Man, this summer is gonna be epic!” Its my first summer in New York, talk about endless possibilities! Everyone seems to be awaiting summer 2013 thanks to such a brutally cold winter. Speaking of the summer Ciara definitely showed us how to get a boo and keep one for the summer not only with her dancing, but with that sexy lingerie piece she wore too. If you haven’t already I need you to cop a couple of pieces (or at least have some panties and bras that match real talk).

I loved her bun in the video! I love buns period honey (my hair is actually in a messy bun as I type), plus they’re the best when going to a party to prevent sweating your hair into an afro (or is that just me?). I loved the blonde, short, tousled curly hair too because a girl needs some hair to throw back and forth when seducing her man.

The dancing was awesome in this video, but don’t fret ladies they’re still basic moves you grew up doing with just a little remix and twist to it. You always need to remix your classic moves anyway to keep things fresh. She definitely remixed a couple moves from the “Promise” video in that silhouette scene. Cici you are NOT slick, but I’ll let you slide because at least you tried to remix it unlike Beyoncé who is still doing all her original dances from 2003 – 2011. I will admit that my alter ego, Brooke, might have to come out for me to pull some of them off, but I miss her anyway so let the good times roll. Don’t get it twisted I still got it though! Hey, hey, hey daddy! lol Don’t get me started, please!

There are a few little details in this video that I love. Anyone who knows me knows I’m all about the details. Ecstatic to see Jazzy Pha in the video!  The dialogue was a nice bonus “They don’t call me the future for no reason” and “He reads.”

There were a lot of little 90s tributes as well. I feel like Ciara channeled her inner Janet Jackson’s Janet in this video with the style, look, and feel, merged with hip hop. Did they low key do the butterfly/tootsie roll?! I’m pretty sure they did. Let me not forget the song samples a 90s summer favorite Ghost Town DJ’s “My Boo”.

Lastly, the last song I fell in love with like this was Beyoncé’s “Dance For You,” and although it is Bey season her dance moves are still nowhere close to a Ciara dip and wind. Unfortunately for Ciara she’s not Beyoncé and like I mentioned before its Bey season so I’m pretty sure this song’s livelihood is gonna be cut very short, even though technically Beyoncé hasn’t put out a new single yet. I will keep this song on rotation, but like so many other Beyoncé victims no one else on a public platform (i.e. radio, social media, and iTunes) will, but she can count on BET’s 106 and Park to maybe hold her down. #Justalittleshade

Well, that’s pretty much it. I’m going to go twerk to this song in the mirror. (Bitch, don’t act like you don’t do it too!) Enjoy the video below:

-TheJournalist25 xoxo

Homecoming

It’s that time of year, college students present and past come together for football, parties, and celebration. In my experience at Howard University, it was a time to just go all in on everything. I have such fond memories from Homecoming- that I will not be sharing with you- but in honor of this special time I would like to give you a #howmybootyendupintheair? Homecoming Edition. I hope you all enjoy.

I was just…

On the yard for Yardfest mingling with everyone when I saw a tall, dark, muscular built man with a nice Caesar and no facial hair over by the Fine Arts building clowning with some other guys. It was Samson. I haven’t seen him since I visited New York last summer. He didn’t inform me that he was coming to Homecoming, but I should’ve known.

We met in Intro to Psychology, fall semester, my sophomore year and his senior year. He sat next to me the first day of class in Douglas after walking in late. We locked eyes and said ‘hello’ right in the middle of the teacher going over the syllabus. It was a weird feeling I got, but I liked it.

Later on that day, he found me on Facebook, of course! I was excited, but wanted to keep it cool. I didn’t even tell my friends about Samson. He immediately messaged my inbox asking if I was going to class Thursday. We went back and forth getting to know each other that night over Facebook. He was a senior, from Harlem, New York, first generation Ghanian American, and majored in Finance.

We became very close that semester. We would hang out at each other’s dorm room; he stayed in the West Towers and I stayed in Meridian Hill. I had a fake i.d. so I would eventually start running into him at the clubs around town (i.e. K st, Love, The Park, Ibiza) on the weekends. Our friends even became familiar with one another.

We always just remained friends even though the attraction, flirtation and chemistry was there. Except this one time when we were in his room looking through the yearbook -that came out that day- on his bed. We were close to each other with our thighs touching and the sun was coming through the window. We were looking at the book, then each other. Our faces felt like they were being pushed together by the universe. Inches away from our mouths touching his phone rings and startles us. 

Nothing ever happened again nor did we ever acknowledge that we almost kissed. Our friendship just continued as if nothing happened.

I continued to talk to my friends around me knowing that I would get a chance to talk to him later. While watching Miguel perform “Sure Thing” on the stage in front of Founders Library I felt someone grab me from behind. “Hey, cutie pie,” his deep masculine voice whispered in my ear, (I forgot to mention he’s kind of corny sometimes), and he bent down to kissed the nape of my neck.

I turned around smiling, “Hey!” left my lips and we both began to laugh. I jumped in his arms as he embraced me. We teased each other like brothers and sisters do. Then began to banter about playing phone tag the last six months. We made plans to have brunch Sunday before he left for New York that evening.

A couple hours later, my friend, Ashley, and I left to get ready for the night. We were going to the infamous grown and sexy 21+ party at Love later. A slew of celebs were suppose to be there like Diddy, Wale, Rick Ross, Trey Songz, etc.

I had this short purple dress with the back out damn near to my butt. The front accentuated my breast and had pockets with little pleats across that smoothed out as the material hugged around my thighs just right. My shoes were suede, black, 6′ pumps with ruffles in the back. I was hands down gonna be killin em tonight. Ashley looked gorg too.

We took shots of Patron and drank a bottle of champagne before leaving for the party. We arrived around midnight or so and everyone seemed to be in there, including my ex and Samson, to my surprise. It didn’t matter because I was looking good and ready to party.

I always make my rounds before hitting the dance floor; the restroom, by the bar, then up to the second floor. Before I could get on the dance floor I felt someone grab my hand while the dj was playing Wale’s song featuring Jeremiah and Rick Ross. The gentleman’s smooth voice matched the songs vibe as he said, “you look beautiful, can I buy you a drink?,” I coyly reply “Thank you, yes you can,” then flash him my pearly whites to mesmerize him.

I flirt and lightly twerk on him to the new song coming through the speakers while we wait for our drinks at the bar. Ashley was on the dance floor dancing and mingling with our classmates. I eventually met back up with her after I received my glass of champagne in exchange for my number.

We twerked, flexed, grinded, and two stepped the night away with numerous guys and friends up and down the club, literally. I had a blast seducing men with my dance moves especially with my signature move, the “look back at it.”  It was almost four in the morning, the lights were coming on and it was time to go. My phone already had a couple of text from guys trying to get together afterwards, that was a negative though. I just wanted some ginger ale and food before going to bed.

Ashley hails us a cab and meets these guys in the process. We end up sharing the cab with them. I sat in the front so I could text and Ashley was becoming familiar with one of the guys in the back. After sending a text or two I realize she is back there making out. It is homecoming, what can I say? #shrugs The rest of the ride down Connecticut Ave I converse with the cab driver about random things.

We stop at the Helix hotel first, where the two men are staying, and he convinces Ashley to come upstairs with her. I can see in her eyes that she’s feeling him so I go along with it. The guy Ashley was making out with pays for the taxi as we walk up to the lobby with his friend. Were talking and being friendly because were still kind of drunk from all the drinks men bought us throughout the night.

We make it up to their room and begin to chill. Ashley goes into her guy’s bed area and closes it off with the curtain. I sit on the couch checking my phone and texting back and forth while entertaining the friend. I quickly decide to go get something from the vending machine because I needed a snack or something. That’s if this swanky hotel even had a vending machine, nonetheless, I was going to look for one.

While on the elevator, it stops on the third floor and when the doors open its Samson standing there. What the hell? “Hey! what’s going on?” he yells and grabs me for a hug “you smell so good,” as he sniffs me and tightens his grip around my waist. I’m completely taken off guard “what are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the Marriot dowtown?” I asked.

“Yeah, but my homie, Brian, is staying here. We were all kickin it in his room, but I ducked out early. Where are you coming from?” he asked me implying that I was being fast. I tell him about Ashley being upstairs and how I was looking for a vending machine.

“Oh you hungry? let’s just go get something to eat, I drove over here” he says in a matter of fact tone. I look at him like are you serious? then text Ashley and let her know I’m leaving with Samson, she’ll understand. We begin to walk down the street to where he parked.

To be continued…

-TheJournalist25 xoxo

The Test Drive

I was just…

getting some lunch on a regular Tuesday afternoon from Subway. Suddenly, I saw this fine, tall, sun-kissed man walking toward his truck from one of the surrounding shops. I was drawn to him and the tattoos on his arms and chest as he rocked a cut off shirt that was showing his upper body. His tattoos and muscles were playing peak-a-boo as the slight wind blew his shirt to and fro with each stride he took.

Somehow I managed to pass him and gave him a flirtatious smile to draw him in… but he just said “hello” and continued with his day. I sighed as he drove off in his black Ford Explorer.

The day continued on as usual- back to the office. The week flew by.

Saturday morning, I went to the Honda dealership to get my car serviced. I wanted to stay in bed because it was gloomy outside, but I really needed a tune-up and new brakes. It was going to take a few hours, but then I would have the rest of the day to chill.

While waiting I decided to check out some cars on the lot because I wouldn’t mind trading in Stacy, my silver 2003 Honda Civic, for a brand new Accord coupe in a few months.

As I’m strolling past the line of parked cars for sale out walks Mr. Muscles covered up in a blue button up shirt and a tie “Hi, how may I help you today? Would you like to test drive this car?” pointing to the traded in 2003 Ford Focus. I looked at the car, then back at him with an “Um No” expression. We chuckle. It kind of broke the ice for us.

At first, I didn’t recognize it was Mr. Muscles until he extended his arm for a handshake and one of his tattoos were revealed on his wrist. “My name is David, thanks for coming in today,” he said and I extended my arm flashing my flirtatious smile at him while scanning his eyes, “Hi, how are you?,” I replied.

I told myself today was going to be good, but after seeing him again, I realize today is going to be great.

“What car are you interested in?,” he ask.
“The Honda Crosstour has caught my eye a few times on the road,” I say just to make things a little more interesting.

We walk over to the new Honda Crosstour as he is telling me about what it offered. I look interest and give the car a once over as he talks. I can’t tell you exactly what he was saying because in my mind I was plotting, but I’m sure it was the same old car salesman spill. I just added my “oh okay” in where needed.

Okay, its time to take it up a notch ” I don’t know about the Crosstour, do you have a Honda Accord coupe? I need something sleek and fast,” I said as normal and seductive as possible. “Oh you do?!” he replied, picking up on my flirtation. “Well, you’re in luck I have one 2011 left with a V6 engine, fully loaded for you to test drive. Let me get the keys.”

He took my driver’s license. “Wow, this is the best picture I think I’ve seen on someone’s license,” he compliments. I was left blushing while he went to get the keys.

As he was walking back I felt his eyes undressing me and plotting too. Once he arrived back at the car his voice now has a little more bass, and his chest and broad shoulders seemed to have raised up on his six foot frame. His muscles were trying to bust through his shirt, but there was no need to because I still remember what they looked like from before.

We hopped in the car and I started up the engine as our eyes met and they said all the two of us needed to know.

“You’re in luck, there is the perfect industrial area for you to speed down over here. Its usually empty on the weekend,” he said as I accelerate the car and pulled off the lot.

“Great!” I replied as he turned on the radio and opened the sun roof for me.

Five minutes later, my panties were moist from our innocent conversation as I drove 85mph down the long streets. I abruptly stop to test out the brakes… and to startle David a bit. He surprisingly moved the gear into park. I played it cool, but frantically think uh oh I’ve done it this time and he wants to drive us back to the dealership.

I look at him sheepishly out of fear of being reprimanded for the stunt I just pulled. Then he says “That was so sexy!” and lunges at me with a passionate kiss. His hand is behind my head smashing my curly tresses as we intertwine our tongues. WTH is going on?! I push back. He falls back and releases my head.

I look in the rearview mirror and there is no traffic in sight on this long wide road. Carpe Diem! I suppose as I unbuckled my seat belt. I hop over and into his lap, straddling him. His eyes got wide in disbelief as I take the lead. I loosen up his tie as he quickly rubs me up and down before finding my butt and squeezing it, then slapping it. I’m aroused and raise up on my hips.

My hair falls forward on my face as I lean into his face for more kisses. Our teeth nearly touch from smiling so hard and mischievously at each other. He sucks my bottom lip. I blurt out a soft, long moan.

We stop. Breathing heavy. Our eyes lock and we giggle at our teenage-like rendezvous. He pulls the latch and the seat falls back while I unbutton his shirt. I must see those muscles and tattoos again. There they are like hidden treasures on his chest as I rip his shirt off. I nuzzle my head into his neck and begin to kiss on him.

The sensation of his hands caressing my bare skin under my shirt has me going wild. I make my way down his neck and begin to trace his tattoo with my tongue on his right shoulder blade. He nibbles on me and pulls off my shirt.

I continue to lead my tongue around his skin with no end in sight of his tattoo. With heavy breathes he looks down at me, then his head jerks back in the simple ecstasy of my tongue’s strides all over his tattooed covered chest.

The body art has me curious about what it is. His cologne and natural musk make my nose tingle and I get lost in my thoughts as he takes a mouthful of my breast peeking out of its purple casing.

I can’t help but think of how crazy life is and the odds of  seeing him again, here. I lift up and arch my back, coyly smiling while fluffing back my hair.

He smiles back at me and says “I’ve seen you before. I never forgot about that smile.” I’m caught completely off guard as he opens up to me, “I’d hope to see you again after that day I saw you out by Subway.”

I continue to listen and smile.

“Then you appear at my job?… I couldn’t let the opportunity pass again.”

I’m still straddled across his lap sitting up on my hips. I’m in awe and can’t seem to do anything but smile. I lean back in and give him a peck on the lips.

“Doesn’t dinner and a movie usually come before this?,” I joke. I climb back over to the driver side and we prepare to go back to the dealership. He steps out the car to fix his shirt and tie. I look in the mirror to reapply lip gloss and fix my hair.

I can’t help but wonder as we drive back… I was just getting my car serviced #howmybootyendupintheair?

-TheJournalist25 xoxo

Let Me Lick Your Tattoo

In this day and age it seems like a rights of passage to go under the needle and have some part of your body adorned with the art of your choice. People love tattoos. You can get just about anything you want just about anywhere you want on your body.

Even I have a badge of honor tattooed on me, but I’ll save that for another post.

When it comes to sexual attraction, tattoos are sexy to many people and on many people. What do you do to someone you’re with that has a tattoo? Especially if it’s sexy…

“Let me lick your tattoo, daddy.”

Plain. And Simple.

How can you resist the sensuality that can be added in the heat of a little foreplay? I mean caressing a tattoo just isn’t gonna do. I’m pretty sure when they got their tattoo they also considered the sexy factor of it. The sexual aspect probably helped with their choice of where to place it on their body. #Imjustsaying

There is something so sensual and relaxing, yet stimulating about your partner taking their tongue so smoothly and tracing your body art with it. It can definitely be added to the sweetest things you’ve ever know. It adds more intimacy to the moment, especially depending on wear the tattoo is.

I will admit, I prefer bare skin- no tattoos, but there’s more to a man than his tattoo(s) as far as dating is concerned. Sometimes it does add that extra sex appeal when it comes to getting hot and heavy.

The sexiest tattoos are on professional men, honestly. You have no idea the guy you’ve been eying in the office has that tattoo on his chest or upper arm. His entire chest might look like Rick Ross’ and you had absolutely no idea. Talk about a beautiful surprise when you see him at the office beach party with a wife beater on.*fans self at the thought*

Let me make something very clear. Tattoos on a man with nice muscles and a sexy body is like icing on the cake, but let me also make it clear… men with just average bodies or less than are susceptible to a different reaction. *Results may vary.

Professional men are cool and good for a dating scenario, but a sexy THUG with tattoos, OMG, now that is pure eye candy. A woman like me doesn’t want to be with a thug, but can certainly appreciate them and their tattoos. They always show them off too (when they’re not wearing a white tee). Once again #Imjustsaying

The cherry on top is a lil sweat, glisten, or fresh out the shower/pool on a nice tattoo sitting on top of some nice muscles and #bow! I’ll leave the rest to your own imagination. #letmelickyourtattoodaddy

Whether the tattoo is raised off the skin, flat like a birthmark, dark, colorful, etc… it definitely can add to the overall sexual experience between you and that person.

Sometimes its even good, when on the upper body, to use as a focal point. I’ve read plenty of times in Cosmo that as a woman sometimes to reach your climax its good to focus on something on the wall or ceiling. No need for that when you have a nice tattoo to look at. While trying to focus or zone out just stare at the tattoo during those intense moments.

This is in no reason for you to just go out and get a tattoo, but if you already have one or really do want one here is a way to put it to good use.

What are your thoughts and opinions on tattoos? Have you ever had your tattoo licked? Speak on it all in the comments

Until next time, let me lick your tattoo.
-TheJournalist25
#howmybootyendupintheair?