I’ve been wanting to address this issue ever since Beyonce’s “Best Thing I Never Had” video came out, but I didn’t want to come off bitter, especially not in my writing.
Bitter: (adj) -characterized by intense antagonism or hostility. resentful or cynical
The truth of the matter is, I am probably just a tad bit bitter still about the situation with a couple of guys from my past even though in my heart of hearts I know I don’t want to be with those fools anymore.
Let me put my psychology minor to some use right here with my theory. My ego is causing me to be bitter. The thought of them not wanting me the same way I wanted them while we were together is just dumb. Plain and simple.
The reality of it is I wasn’t getting their 100% like I thought I deserved, and I’m glad as a woman I recognized that and didn’t settle for less than.
There was a time I thought
that you did everything right
no lies, no wrong
boy I, must’ve been outta my mind
so when I think of a time where I almost loved you
you showed your a** and I saw the real you
Those lyrics never rang so true, literally.Things seemed to start off great, but as time went on you’re wondering ‘who are you?’ and breaking things off was a must.The good thing is you’re not too invested to hold on a little longer… or at least I wasn’t.
Thank you for showing your a**, sir. It’s probably the best thing you could have ever done for me because once I fell in love it would’ve been much harder to see clearly and to let go of your sorry excuse as a man.
I don’t want to (
actually I kind of do) go on a rant or tangent about the past because I’ve written in my journal and talked on the phone with my friends enough about it. BUT when I heard “Best Thing I Never Had” it really reignited everything I felt again because it told my story word for word.
The fact that Beyonce and I are both Virgos is why I think she is able to articulate how I feel so well in her songs.
It surprised me the way I enjoyed not only the song but video when it came out. It really got my blood boiling again at the thought of what the negroe(s) did (or didn’t do) and of our past together in general. It scared me. I thought I was over and past it. I mean I really had a session in my living room with my girls that Friday night just going in and going off about so and so.
The next day I was like “damn, where did all that come from?” I had to reflect on it. It reminded me of “Madea’s Family Reunion” when Madea was in the kitchen telling her story about when she thought she was over what an ex had done to her until she went to his funeral and beat him 8 feet under.
At the end of the day, I dont want to have unresolved issues within myself over someone who was never worth my time in the first place and is living their life. So how do I move on foreal?! Because I clearly moved on for fake.
I surely don’t want to be that girl lugging around anger, hurt, and pain from relationships past.
Being bitter is not what’s pop, pop, poppin. It’s unhealthy and takes away energy from meeting a man more suitable for the job as my man and maybe even husband.
Tell me have you ever had this problem? What helps you move on from a past relationship? Let me know in the comments.